Ashamnu
Ashamnu is included in viddui—confessional prayers best known as a prominent component of Yom Kippur liturgy and said by those who approach death.
This is fitting as it is the day we collectively rehearse our own death and therefore must collectively confess.
God will not hear our confessions though, if we do not make to repair the harm we have caused and continue to cause others.
Death is inevitable—a good seal is not guaranteed.
How do we atone for willful sins of such magnitude?
With the new year and Ten Days upon us beginning tomorrow at sunset, will we merit renewal?
18 Tevet 5784
Ashamnu. Bagadnu.
We hear shofarim
Wailing their judgement
In the shadow of our ears
O God, what have we done?
Gazalnu. Dibarnu dofi.
We can feel the tremble of the Gates
A tremor in our soul
There is no time
O God, what have we done?
He'evinu. V'hirshanu.
Rustling of a thousand pages
The Book slamming shut
Pen down
O God, what have we done!
Zadnu. Chamasnu.
This year's ink was not dry yet
Pages stick with blood
Our names enmeshed
O God, what have we done...
Tafalnu sheker.
287 twilights forgone and sealed
Nothing aside the twilights we have taken
Children's children, stars in the sky, disappeared
O! O God!
Ya’atznu ra. Kizavnu.
Salt in the air
A sea of bitter tears
It will not part for us
O God, what have we done? What have we done?
Latznu. Maradnu.
Bread turns to ash in our mouths
Wine turns to bile
Will they ever be sweet again?
O God...
Niatznu. Sararnu. Avinu.
Shall we bind our most beloved for you?
What rite could repair such ancient hate?
There are not enough eyes on this earth
O God, O God! What have we done?
Pashanu. Tzararnu.
Fistfuls of clove and myrtle bring no relief
Air thick with death, no remains
Strange birds pick and pull at us
O... what have we? God?
Kishinu oref.
Three voids darken the wilderness
We have not remembered, we have not kept
Braided and burning, we cannot separate
Have we, O God?
Rashanu. Shichatnu.
We crawl up to Your rubble seat
Cracked, blackened nails reflect our sin
A gunshot away
God...
Ti’av’nu. Ta’i’nu. Tita’nu.
We stand meritless and bare before You
We have come to atone, O God
We are here
God?
O God, what have we done.
We have trespassed;
we have dealt treacherously.
We have robbed;
we have spoken slander.
We have acted perversely;
we have done wrong.
We have acted presumptuously;
we have done violence.
We have practiced deceit;
we have counseled evil.
We have spoken falsehood;
we have scoffed.
We have revolted;
we have blasphemed.
We have rebelled;
we have committed iniquity.
We have transgressed;
we have oppressed.
We have been stiff-necked;
we have acted wickedly.
We have dealt corruptly;
we have committed abomination.
We have gone astray;
we have led others astray.